No shame

There are seven billion of us on the planet, and for all but a handful, we are the result of sex. Not just sex, but arousal, excitement and release.

It is the great tragedy of the human condition – and not just for the obvious reasons – that male orgasm is necessary to continue the species, and female satisfaction is one of those nice-to-have things, but we can do without it.

If women had to climax for the species to survive, then it goes without saying that women would have a bigger share of things. If female happiness were a crucial factor in survival then those physical and cultural traits that lead to female orgasm would naturally be selected for and survive against competition for other factors.

I think it would be a happier world, and again, not just for the obvious reasons. A world of more equality, a world were women were listened to, a world where violent uncaring men didn’t have so easy a time passing on their genes.

If both genders had to climax to reproduce, then I think that this would naturally lead to a world of equality, harmony, and happiness.

Our female sexuality is precious. So often religions or patriarchies or cultures downplay the role of women in sex. Some societies actually remove the clitoris – it’s called female circumcision, but it’s about cutting off that little pink pleasure bean and feeding it to the dogs – and in these societies women have a very low role. They do the work, bear the children, cook the food. They don’t lead, or conduct business, or get educated, or say or write things that others take note of.

Now, I don’t read or write erotica for any great lofty purpose. Pleasure and profit are high on my list. But I am conscious that some men, some religions, some politicians think that women aren’t important. Women shouldn’t enjoy sex. Women shouldn’t do certain things. Women shouldn’t have sex outside certain parameters.

To that. I say bullshit. Women enjoy good sex every bit as much as men do. Good sex isn’t confined to the marital bed, or the faithful, or those who vote a certain way. In fact, I’d say from my own personal experience that these things can be decided turn-offs. Is there anything more sexually boring than a man who thinks that a short fuck in the missionary position is the best that sex can get?

So to that person who sent me a rude note, I’m not going to say fuck you back. If you don’t like erotica, if you don’t like sexual fun, then bloody well don’t read it. You probably don’t like philosophy, or nuclear physics, or sociology either, and you probably don’t read those sort of books. But do you send rude notes to the people who write them?

I say, open your ears, open your mind, listen to what women are saying. Try to understand that the world is not the boxed up little male control field you have abstracted it into. It will be the best thing you can possibly do with your life.


Image by Britni Pepper

erotica, life , ,


  1. First off all great post. I was catching up on daily digest on twitter.

    I’ve been here a few months I seem to think social media is truly great outlet to collaborate and as a full time engineer I pride myself on building some of the groundwork for this collaboration to happen at planetary scale but if i were to go back and uninvent something it will be this social media.

    The concept of anonymity fuels so much hatred, bigotry, closet mindedness and in a way it attracts their own clique to themselves. Sometimes there is only so much hatred one can take before just quitting it altogether.

    Before I veer of the topic you’re right in a society controlled by the narrative of men, most men ignore women. There are some of us out there who really love them, in fact nothing is more sexy to me than intelligent, opinionated and an open minded partner. I honestly feel the world will be a better place run by a woman. I watched the new zealand prime minister in news recently and she is my hero currently.

    Odds are people throwing stones at people writing erotica don’t read anything either. I guess they thrive on this negativity. I think you definitely should “Fuck you” to them, in fact i’ll do it for you “Fuck you losers”.

    Lets make erotica classy again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jacinta Ardern spoke and acted from the heart. That is rare in a politician nowadays.

      I have worn the hijab too, and one day I must write about my trips to Iran.

      Thank you for your kind words. Of course, not all men are the same, just as no two humans are the same on the surface.

      But it is harder for men, I am sure, to see things the way a woman does. They don’t have the challenges and worries, receive the stares and the comments, have the difficult choices that a woman does from the time she realises how the world works.

      But there is love, and there is respect, and there is laughter, and it is not all bad, now is it?


  2. Reblogged this on Infinitude and commented:
    So much this. And my only thought to add is this. Men. Listen. Don’t be so god damn afraid all the time. I read an article earlier about how much propaganda was written about bicycles when they first became available to the public. BICYCLES! The “argument” was that women would get something called Bicycle face. I wish I was kidding. They released pseudo scientific reports that concluded that women would lessen their attractiveness to men and damage their faces and their all important wombs if they rode bikes. What really happened is that men got scared that women could actually bike to the next town and have more men to choose from, and their god awful behavior wasn’t the only option. So please remember. Women love sex and they want to like us. You don’t have to be perfect but for fucks sake try harder. There is no greater sexual experience than when the woman is all in. It benefits you in the long run!

    Rant over. Thank you for the great article Britni!

    P.S. written on phone please excuse typos.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Aeron!

      Together we can change the world. A happier place for our children, for all our children. There are challenges coming up, and we must face them together.


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